If it doesn't count for Christ, it doesn't count.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Some Fathers Are Not

Amid all the "Happy Father's Day" wishes being spread on FaceBook, there were a few whose day was not so great. They were wishing others a happy day, but Father's Day is not a happy one for them. Simply stated, they don't have much to celebrate in the father they had, or the father they married. (which is to say that of their children, or that who gave them no children.)  I'm thinking maybe Father's Day is next in line behind Christmas as the holiday that produces great joy for so many, and great pain for some.  I'm thankful that I can celebrate my father on that day.


Let's face it. Not all fathers are worth celebrating. Not all fathers leave good memories behind them. Whether in the home or not, at best, some are merely a male presence while others run the gamut of poor fathering from non-involvement to extreme abuse.  And little children love anyway, and they want that love to be returned.


Some fathers are not . . . fathers, that is.


The lack of a father's love has life long effects on a person.  I haven't experienced it, but I see it.  I talk to people who are trying to deal with it as adults.  It seems that as resilient as young children are, the effects hit in teens, or early adulthood. And then it is dealt with for life.  I'm not the only one who knows someone, a father, who followed their father to the grave, these issues and effects still very present, unresolved, and continuing to eat away at them.  Left to carry on are two more generations to whom the same issues have been passed, and so many others rocked by the ripples that inevitably pass through their lives.   


This blog post is for the children - the grown-up children.  Since I read those few messages on FaceBook the other day, I haven't been able to cast the obvious hurt from my mind.  And like many things that stick in my mind these days, I soon feel the urge to write a blog on it.  Failing to have anything close to an answer or the smallest bit of hope or help within myself, I have asked God to give me something that might be of help to you.  Not just to sooth the wound for now, but to help you find the real victory over this situation that God has for you. And, yes, I know that some handle this very well for most of the year and then the holiday rolls around and disappointment and regret and resentment rise up for a short while.  I wish you had an earthly father to celebrate. And I know you, at times, feel short-changed, cheated, defeated, unwanted, and unloved, and maybe like you are something less than you should be.  You could probably add a few more things to the list.  But, God wants you to know that all that is a lie.  And He wants you to know the truth about yourself, because He wants you to start living in that truth.  



Know this:  You are a special creation of God Himself.  No matter how any person wants or causes you to feel, the truth is you have had God's full attention since before you were born.  You can live by what some other person has done to you, or you can live in what God has done for you.


Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart . . .”


Psalm 139:13  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.


Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork . . . 


Psalm 139:1-4   You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.



Know this: You are no accident. God was paying attention when He made you.  Let's all face it.  No matter what circumstances we were born into, we exist here and now because God wants us here and now.  And we are all as He made us.


 Psalm 139:14   I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 


Luke 12:7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.


Ephesians 1:4-5 (NLT) Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.  God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.



Know this: You were created for a purpose.  God's own purpose!  Who can stand and call another useless, or a mistake, when the Creator of the Universe has work planned for us to do before we ever get here?  God has set your value and you are precious to Him. Therefore you are precious in all of creation. No one gets to change that.  You were made to bring glory to God and anyone who says or acts differently falls into the category of mockers and scoffers.  


Ephesians 2:10b  . . . created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. 


1 Corinthians 1:9  God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.


Romans 8:28b-29  . . . who have been called according to his purpose.  For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.


2 Timothy 1:9  He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,


1 Corinthians 12:7-11 (NLT)  A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.  To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge.  The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing.  He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said.  It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.



Know this: You are so very much loved.


Isaiah 43:4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you . . .


Romans 5:8  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


1 John 3:1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!


Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past,saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.



Know this: God is not mad at you. In fact, He thinks highly of you. 


Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake,  and remembers your sins no more. 


Romans 8:37-39  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Isaiah 43:6-7  I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth— everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” 

1 John 1:9 (ESV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.


Zephaniah 3:17-19 (NIV)  The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” 


And know this:  God has a good life planned for you.

John 14:18 (ESV)"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."


Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV)  No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the LORD.


Philippians 1:6 (ESV)  And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.


Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)   For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future


I know this is a long post. Longer than my usual long post.  But, I can offer no apologies for it. I want everyone to understand that these words of scripture are real. That are the truth, God's truth.  And they are true for you!  Don't let anyone, including you,  try to tell you anything about yourself that does not line up with the Word of God. And don't let anyone misuse the Word of God to tell you anything.


I'm sorry if your earthly father, or the earthly father of your children, was or is not there where he has been needed.  I'm sorry if that love has been missing. One more time, know this:  You have a Father in Heaven who loves you like no other can.  And He is not distant or aloof or unconcerned with your life.  He yearns to be with you, to talk to you and to provide for you in every way.  This is truth. Live the truth God gives you, not the lie someone else tries to lay on you.





PS I've been looking for a video for this post, and I just found this one by Mandisa. It fits very well, because, after all, this post is about the truth about you!